The Process of Becoming Mentally Unbreakable
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve stayed up thinking about something that happened a year ago, a month ago, even an hour ago. There was a point in time where everything would lead to me spiralling and losing focus and peace of mind. Like, everything.
I was chronically unhappy and it affected not only me but everything around me.
What’s more, I know I’m not the only person like this. I know that there are people who are easily hurt by the things others said, who care about what others think more than anything, who dwell on negativity.
But I also know that there is a way to stop doing this - to become mentally unbreakable.
Consistency 📅
Mentally strong people set goals and consistently work towards them. No missing deadlines, asking for extensions. No missing workouts and calling it an “impromptu rest day”.
Consistent people work on a schedule. They don’t wait for motivation to magically appear, they realize that action leads to motivation, and not the other way around.
Quick tip: If you don't want to do something, tell yourself you’ll only do it for 2 minutes. Once you start working, chances are you won’t want to stop anymore.
Just like you need to consistently work out to build muscle, you need to consistently practise discipline to build mental strength. Who do you want to be? Envision that person, and work towards being that person.
Stop Overthinking 🧠
I know this is much easier said than done, but it’s not impossible.
Think back for a minute, when was the last argument you had? How did you deal with it? Did you walk away with 10 new ideas about how you could’ve responded to their insult? Did you relive the argument in your head — or better yet, did you create new scenarios in your head (what will you say when you see them next?)?
Have you been worrying about things to come? Got a job interview or an exam coming up? How often do you think about how stressed you are? How often do you complain to others about how stressed you are?
This idea of reliving uncomfortable situations and imagining the worst to come causes nothing but mental deterioration. You’re not gaining anything out of the time you spend dwelling on these thoughts.
Your time is precious. Choose where you allocate it carefully.
Sometimes we overthink because we feel like imagining situations = prepping for them. It gives us a feeling of control over a situation that, in reality, we have no control over at all.
And trust me, I get it. You can’t just not think about something. If I say, “don’t think about a pencil”, I can guarantee that you thought about a pencil. But be conscious of where you allow your mind to drift.
Quick tip: Set a default “alternate thought”.
This can be a happy memory you hold, an image of a puppy, something you’re looking forward to, anything that calms you down.
Whenever you start thinking about that negative “thing”, cue your alternate thought.
It won’t be easy at first, but over time, you’ll start to observe your control over your mind.
Adopt a Growth Mindset 🧘🏻♀️
If you only take away 1 thing from this article, make it this.
I used to HATE when people told me “no regrets”. I used to wish that I’d be able to go back in time and make better choices. But last year I realized that without my past experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
We don’t control what happens, but we do control what they mean. How can we use “bad” experiences to become better?
Quick tip: Instead of labelling it as a “bad experience”, call it a “learning experience”.
Whether or not you’re the one who messed up, there’s always an opportunity to grow and become a better person.
Key Takeaways & Action Items 🔑
1. Be Consistent.
Set goals and start working towards them today. Don’t wait until inspiration comes to you, get up and go chase it!
How I do it: I use Notion (get it for Android and iOS here) to organize my daily/weekly/monthly goals, it’s so satisfying to check all those boxes off.
2. Don’t Overthink.
Don’t dwell on unnecessary thoughts. Your time is limited, make sure you’re putting it towards something that actually helps you.
How I do it: Over time, I’ve programmed my brain to divert to a default (productive) thought whenever I start thinking about things that are destructive to my mental health.
Sometimes, you just need a mental break. Get up, go for a run, drink some water, take a power nap, collect yourself and then get back to kicking ass.
3. Growth Mindset
Learn how to analyze your circumstances in a way that doesn’t scream “self-pity”. Find a way to learn from every situation, good and bad.
How I do it: There’s no “hack” for this. I just looked for the good in every situation — and it took time. But I can promise you that it is so worth it. Once you conquer negativity, you can conquer anything that gets thrown your way.
